-----------------------------------

hbgator

Sat 11 Nov, 2006


Why Did The Iraqi Chicken Cross The Road?

-----------------------------------

MNC-I <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>(Multi-National Corps-Iraq)<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
The chicken-crossing situation is reflected in an amber-rated capability within only those regions prioritized to receive road-marking equipment and should not be confused with units non-operationally qualified to partner yet with chicken crossers.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
This will be briefed in the next conference.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
MNSTC-I <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>(Multi-National Security Transition Command-Iraq)<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
The fact that the Iraqi chicken crossed the road affirmatively demonstrates that decision-making authority has been transferred to the chicken well in advance of the scheduled transition of power.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> From now on,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> the chicken is responsible for its own decisions.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
U.S.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Army division
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
The chicken was not authorized to cross the road without two forms of picture identification.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Thus,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> the chicken was appropriately detained and searched in accordance with <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>[standard operating procedures]<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> We apologize for any embarrassment to the chicken.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> As a result of this unfortunate incident,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> the command has instituted a gender sensitivity training program and all future chicken searches will be carried out by female soldiers.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
U.S.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Marine Corps
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
The chicken is dead.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
U.S.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Air Force
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
In the last seven days the USAF has cargo-lifted 732,361 chickens across 852 roads.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
Blackwater <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>(security contractor)<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
We cannot confirm any involvement in the chicken road-crossing incident.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
Halliburton/Kellogg Brown <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>&<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Root
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
We were asked to help the chicken cross the road.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Given the inherent risk of road crossing and the rarity of chickens,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> this operation will only cost the U.S.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> government <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>$326,004.99.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
Peshmerga
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
The chicken crossed the road,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> and will continue to cross the road,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> to show its independence and to transport the weapons it needs to defend itself.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> However,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> in the future,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> to avoid problems,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> the chicken will be called a duck,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> and will wear a plastic bill.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
Al-Jazeera
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
The chicken was forced to cross the road multiple times at gunpoint by a large group of coalition soldiers,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> according to eyewitnesses.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> The chicken was then fired upon intentionally,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> in yet another example of the abuse of innocent Iraqi chickens.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
Moqtada al-Sadr
<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
The chicken is a tool of the evil coalition and will be killed.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>