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cyberval

Thu 02 Mar, 2006


Dear Tech Support: Wife 1.0

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Wife 1.0
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Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> In addition,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Applications such as Poker Night 10.3,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Football 5.0,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Hunting and Fishing 7.5,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> and Boys Night Out 3.6 no longer run,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> crashing the system whenever selected.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> but the Uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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Please help!<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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Thanks,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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A Troubled User <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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Dear Troubled User:<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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This is a very common problem that men complain about.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>!<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>!<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> It is impossible to uninstall,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> or purge the program files from the system once installed.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> I suggest installing the background application <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>"Yes Dear"<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> to alleviate software augmentation.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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The best course of action is to enter the command C:<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Wife 1.0 is a great program,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> but it tends to be very high maintenance.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> such as Clean and Sweep 3.0,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Cook 1.5 and Pay Bills 4.2.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> However,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> be very careful how you use these programs.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag-Nag 9.5.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Once this happens,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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WARNING!<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>!<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>!<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> DO NOT,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> under any circumstances,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> install SSS 3.3 which secretly stands for Short Skirt Secretary 3.3.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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Best of luck,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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Tech Support