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Jah Ji

Tue 14 Feb, 2006


2010 Olympics

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Now that Vancouver will be hosting the 2010 Winter Olympics,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> these are some questions people the world over are asking!<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>!<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>!<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>!<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>(frightening,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> isn't it!<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>)<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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Obviously the answers are a joke;<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> but the questions were really asked!<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>!<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>!<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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Question:<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> so how do the plants grow?<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>(UK)<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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Answer:<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> We import all plants fully grown and then jus t sit around and watch them die.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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Q:<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street?<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>(USA)<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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A:<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Depends on how much you've been drinking.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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Q:<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto-can I follow the Railroad tracks?<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>(Sweden)<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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A:<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Sure,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> it's only Four thousand miles,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> take lots of water.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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Q:<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada?<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>(Sweden)<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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A:<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> So it's true what they say about Swedes.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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Q:<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>(Italy)<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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A:<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Let's not touch this one.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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Q:<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Are there any ATM's <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>(cash machines)<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> in Canada?<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Can you send me a list of them in Toronto,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Vancouver,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Edmonton and Halifax?<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>(UK)<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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A:<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> What did your last slave die of?<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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Q:<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada?<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>(USA)<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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A:<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Ca-na-<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> da is that big country to your North.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>.oh forget it.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Sure,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Come naked.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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Q:<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Which direction is North in Canada?<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>(USA)<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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A:<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Face south and then turn 180 degrees.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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Q:<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Can I bring cutlery into Canada?<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>(UK)<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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A:<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Why?<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Just use your fingers like we do.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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Q:<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Can you send me the Vienna Boys'<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Choir schedule?<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>(USA)<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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A:<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> which is.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>.oh forget it.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Sure,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> straight after the hippo races.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Come naked.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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Q:<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Do you have perfume in Canada?<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>(Germany)<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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A:<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> No,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> WE don't stink!<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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Q:<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Can you sell it in Canada?<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>(USA)<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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A:<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Anywhere significant numbers o f Americans gather.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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Q:<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population?<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>(Italy)<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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A:<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Yes,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> gay nightclubs.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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Q:<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada?<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>(USA)<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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A:<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Only at Thanksgiving.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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Q:<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round?<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>(Germany)<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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A:<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> No,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Milk is illegal.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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Q:<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> I have a question about a famous animal in Canada,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> but I forget its name.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> It's a kind of big horse with horns.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>(USA)<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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A:<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> It's called a Moose.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> They are tall and very violent,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> eating the brains of anyone walking close to them.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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Q:<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Will I be able to speak English most places I go?<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> <b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>(USA)<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>
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A:<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> Yes,<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b> but you will have to learn it first.<b style="color:#FFA34F"></b>